EDITORIAL BOOK REVIEWS
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Reader Views
37 Lessons on How to Gain from Loss: A Believer’s Journey from Trial to Triumph by Huma Zuellah Ahmed
Book review by Sheri Hoyte, Reader Views
“37 Lessons on How to Gain from Loss” by Huma Zuellah Ahmed is a book about personal transformation. It is also the author’s journey from trial and loss to living triumphant and free from the pain that held her back. Using her personal experiences, Ahmed takes the reader through her most devasting trial, the illness and subsequent passing of her mother, and explains the steps she took to find her way to freedom.
“37 Lessons on How to Gain from Loss” is unique in that it is part self-help, part spiritual and part memoir. As the author takes the reader through the journey of her mother’s illness, it reads like memoir passages, and at the end of these passages Ahmed lists her lesson and the steps to take to achieve the goal of the lesson, incorporating many self-help and spiritual concepts.
There is a lot of information in this book, so it’s not one to read through quickly. I found myself taking notes all along the way, noting the pages and topics I wanted to go back to and revisit in greater detail. 37 different lessons may seem daunting at first, but a lot of the steps blend together in a quite natural procession and some are lessons you may have experienced yourself throughout your own journey. I was comforted to read passages that felt familiar, as if the author knew of my particular struggles.
In fact, the author, who describes herself as a human being, Muslim and Spiritual Self-Discovery and Mindset Coach and Trainer, has a wealth of experience to share that many readers will connect with and feel a “part of” on so many levels.
Much of the writing resonated with me. The entire book is laced with wisdom such as those following. Mindfulness is one of the strong themes I identified with most. I’ll list but a few for the purposes of this review.
“Becoming self-aware is the first step to conscious living.” (pg. 30)
“Nothing has the power to hold you in the state of pain except your own self.” (pg. 38)
“Your energy is where your thoughts are.” (pg. 67)
“Objects that are sometimes given far more importance than they deserve.” (pg. 133)
The author’s journey was driven by her deep spiritual beliefs and that is included in the text as well. She often quotes the Quran as that is what fuels her passions. Without getting into my own beliefs too heavily, I found the messages inspiring and not so different from what I grew up learning.
I highly recommend “37 Lessons on How to Gain from Loss” by Huma Zuellah Ahmed. An open mind and a willingness to do some work, as the author suggests in the beginning of the book, are all that is needed to start your own journey towards freedom from pain.
Raven ReView
A Non-Muslim’s Honest Review of 37 Lessons on How To Gain From Loss: A Believer’s Journey from Trial to Triumph
Book review by Lindsey Paris-Lopez , Editor In Chief of the Raven ReView
Huma Zuellah Ahmed has blessed the world with a compelling and artfully written spiritual guidebook for those with eyes to see. 37 Lessons on How to Gain From Loss is a practical guide for anyone struggling to find relief from pain, guilt, or loss, for those looking for ways to cope with the stresses or sorrows that sometimes build gradually around us and sometimes overwhelm us like a flash flood, knocking us off our feet without warning. Indeed, this book is a guide not only to coping with such losses but to finding the blessings they leave in their wake and coming through them stronger, closer to God, and more in tune with our true selves and our ultimate purpose in life.
If you find yourself stuck in a state of grief, regret or resentment, this book is like a persistent friend. It meets you where you are but will not allow you to stay there, wallowing. As you read this book, it also reads you. At times it’s inspiring and at times it’s convicting, but it consistently pushes you forward on a journey toward healing and wholeness.
Ms. Ahmed’s story is part auto-biographical as she tells, in great depth and emotional resonance, the story of her mother’s illness and untimely death from cancer. This intimate portrait is painted in vivid detail, showing the physical realities of caring for a dying parent in all of their poignant reality. Interwoven with the day-to-day facts of the author’s life are metaphorical journeys of her heart and mind as she navigated the stresses and frustrations and beauties of devoting her life to her mother’s dying days and carrying on after. These metaphorical journeys – such as imagining one’s self in caught up in the chaos of a tornado but then finding serenity within the eye of the storm – help to universalize Ms. Ahmed’s very personal story, so that readers can see both her specific struggles and relate them to their own unique circumstances. In this way, Ms. Ahmed draws readers in both with raw honesty and vulnerability and with appeal to situations that can resonate across humanity.
Yet the biographical component of the story is but the vehicle for the true purpose of this book, which, as the title suggests, is to teach the reader how to find gain through loss. Through her life-altering experience, Huma Ahmed learned invaluable life lessons that she shares boldly and generously. Each of her 37 lessons are illustrated with stories, sometimes told in the first person and relating to her life, and sometimes told in the second person, addressed directly to the reader. With each lesson, she also gives several “Action Steps,” or exercises, that guide the reader with gentle direction or probing questions. Such action steps make these lessons not only wise, but practical and manageable. When followed, they can make a true difference in the process of transcending negative emotions or states of being and finding meaning, resetting one’s footing on a more solid foundation, and moving in a positive direction.
Ms. Ahmed starts from the premise that God’s will for us all is health and abundance, and that loss and pain are not, in themselves, the ends that God wants for us. Though loss and pain will inevitably come, they are always stepping stones on a path to greater fulfillment, tools to shape and refine us. Our life’s journey should move us consistently forward on a path to our deepest selves, to connection with God, and this connection is peace, security, and wholeness – the antithesis of loss and pain.
As a caveat, I must say now that I do not see completely eye-to-eye with Ms. Ahmed. I believe in her conviction that God’s will for all of us is an abundant life of gratitude, but I found that my understanding of loss and pain, as well as humanity’s relationship to God, do not always align with Ms. Ahmed’s understanding. As a non-Muslim, some of my beliefs about God differ in ways that are crucial to this book. I believe, for example, that God is ultimately sovereign, in the sense that God will make all things well in the fulfillment of God’s own time. But unlike many Muslims and some Christians I know, I do not believe in the kind of predestination in which every event, great or small, happens according to God’s will. Therefore, I have a different understanding of some losses and hardships, because I do not believe that God ordains them all for a purpose. That puts me at odds, it appears, with Ms. Ahmed, and as a result some of her lessons did not at first resonate with me.
However, a major theme of this book is shifting one’s perspective from negative to positive. To glean the most that I could from this book, I applied that lesson to my reading of it. Whenever I came across a lesson that I found difficult or a paragraph I was at odds with, I noted disagreement. But then I put it aside for later, and sought the wisdom from the author’s perspective, honoring her connection to the same God that guides us both through different human understandings. I found then that there was much wisdom and beauty in all she said, even if the differences are not resolved.
For example, in one lesson, Ms. Ahmed reflects on God’s words in the Qur’an that “On no soul doth Allah place a greater burden than it can bear.” Ms. Ahmed takes this to mean that burdens indicate our strength, since we would not be tested with anything unmanageable. While I can see how this train of thought can help one to feel strong, I couldn’t help but think that some burdens are beyond the ability of people to bear. I thought of all of the atrocities that should never befall anyone – great injustices like war and slavery and persecution, for example. My understanding does not negate the words of the Qur’an, for I do not believe that these burdens are placed by God, but rather by unjust human systems. I think some people do suffer beyond their capacity. My skepticism and pushback on this idea are worth exploring. And yet, I can still see the wisdom Ms. Ahmed is imparting. How often are we faced with problems that we think are beyond our capacity, and yet are not? We are blessed with strength and imagination and intelligence and if we put them to use, we can overcome burdens we may not think we are able to overcome until they befall us. It was times like these, when I found my initial reaction to be pushback, that I had to read from a perspective of openness and receptiveness rather than skepticism and criticism in order to find the most value in the ideas Ms. Ahmed conveyed. Whenever I found myself in this situation, I adjusted my lens and read with a focus on letting this book open me up and help me, I was genuinely moved by Ms. Ahmed’s profound insights.
Finally, I must note one more thing. I believe Muslims will gain something from this book that I perhaps will not, as this book was written by a Muslim first and foremost to other Muslims. Anyone can glean wisdom from this book, but it is focused on God as understood through Islamic teachings, and as such, Muslims, I believe, will find illumination through this book that others who are not immersed in the beliefs and praxis of Islam may not find. But, as a Christian committed to interfaith dialogue, I found a blessing in this book that others seeking interfaith connections may also find and treasure. Apart from an intimate real-life Muslim friend, this book is perhaps the closest one will come to seeing how the Islamic faith shapes believers in their journeys through adversity and the trials of life. This is a window into the soul of a Muslim exercising and stretching and expanding her faith, and it is beautiful. Anyone wishing to connect across religious divides will find the beauty of Islam’s teachings about God’s love and blessings and expectations for humanity in Ms. Ahmed’s story and lessons. For this invaluable treasure, I can only say, “Thank you, Huma Ahmed, for taking the time and effort to share your journey, and Alhamdulillah – thanks be to God – for the life that has gifted you, and your readers through you, with these insights.”
The US Review of Books
37 Lessons on How to Gain from Loss: A Believer’s Journey from Trial to Triumph by Huma Zuellah Ahmed
Book review by Michael Radon, US Review of Books
“All our relationships are temporary. All our things are mortal. Despite that, we completely depend on them for security.”
This guide on how to find the positive in an intensely negative situation comes from the author’s own personal experiences dealing with the illness and death of her mother. Ahmed was used to taking her mother to and from doctor’s appointments with her long-term diabetic care, but when her situation deteriorated, and she was given a cancer diagnosis, things escalated quickly. From learning how to accept her mom’s situation to promising to be part of the fight, her journey has ups and downs, victories and losses. Ultimately, her mother lost the fight against cancer, but the author was able to achieve tremendous personal growth in the process and was inspired to write this book to help others walking down a similarly difficult road. Outlining 37 distinct lessons, she hopes others will learn as she did to use tragedy as a possibility for growth.
The titular lessons in the book are excellently formatted, providing some explanation as to what needs to be done and how it’s relevant to that moment in the author’s memories. Often these are helpfully followed with numbered action steps, providing a roadmap as to how to enact such a change in one’s life. Faith is a large part of the author’s journey, and so there are several quotes in this book from the Quran as well as from prominent Muslim philosophical figures to flesh out ideas and concepts. There is a strong sense of spirituality in this book which will make some steps easier for those who are similarly faithful, but this book contains a wealth of great advice for anyone struggling to handle the passing of a loved one or loss of something that they never expected to lose.